My greatest blessing!

It is 11:15 at night, my little almost 3-yr old is sound asleep in his little bed, all cuddled up. Which is exactly where I should be, yet here I sit at my computer. I wanted to get this post out before my little guy's birthday tomorrow. I am cutting it pretty close, but better late than never. Birthdays make me so nostalgic, they are bittersweet for me. How is it possible that I have a 3 year old, it was just yesterday I sat there in that hospital, looking down at the little miracle that had been kicking me for the past 9 months. I was kissing those baby cheeks, and marveling at every little thing about him. He is no longer my baby, but my great big 3 year old. My very best little friend, my partner in everything I do. How can I have only known him 3 short years, yet he has become my life, my entire reason for being. Do all moms feel this way?? So very blessed to have this little angel in my life. What would I be without him. Nothing in this life has ever given me more fulfillment or such perfect happiness than this little guy. What a blessing he is. As I think back on the past 3 years, I can't help but remember the day he was born. I loved that day, so many emotions. So scary and you go through so much as a mom, trying to get these little ones here. But in that instant when you hold them, and meet your child for the first time. Words cannot explain, that moment for me. I was in love from the first minute I saw him, I knew my life would never be the same.

This may be boring and way to long for some of you, but this was the greatest moment of my life, the hugest thing I have ever been through. I have to document this for myself, whoever else reads it, well that is just fine. But this post is for me, and to remember that day, when really my life began. Carson came on my due date..thankfully. It felt like the longest June of my life. My past 3 appointments I had gone in and had high blood pressure, my doctor was concerned enough to put my on moderate bed rest, but not concerned enough to start me. Which was fine, I wanted him to stay in there and get strong and healthy. But at the same time, I was so ready for him to come. I was so hot all the time, and so completely uncomfortable. Not to mention, I had been building up to this moment for 9 long months, and I was ready to meet him.

Jen also was having high blood pressure...but that lucky duck got to be started 3 weeks early. Lance was born June 9, and while I was so excited for her, and loved my new little nephew. I was miserable for myself. I was huge, my ankles were so swollen, I couldn't even wear my wedding ring anymore. There Jenny sat with her perfect newborn, she floated through labor and delivery, and was already looking skinny. I was so jealous. Finally, the morning of my due date came..and I had my doctor appointment. I made Thiago come with me, on the chance that she might let me be started. I was in luck, (sorry for all of you out there who think let them come, when they are ready...I agree with that, but at this point I didn't care anymore)Anyways, I went and my blood pressure was high enough, and we had hit my due date, that she said lets have a baby. Yeah!!!

So we ran home, got our bags and all that and headed to the hospital. I delivered at Davis, which I know alot of people don't like. However, I knew no different...and had a perfectly fine experience. Not to mention it is less than 2 minutes from our house. I got admitted to the hospital at about 12:30 in the afternoon. By the time they got me all hooked up and my IV in (which was the worst part of the whole experience for me) it was about 1:30. They started my pottosum (I have no idea how that is spelled) at a little after 2:00. I remember laying there for the first half hour thinking okay what now. After a little while the contractions started coming, not to terrible though. They checked me and I was only dialated to like a 2. They said with it being my first and all I would probably go all night, and have him sometime in the early morning. They were wrong..I progressed fast. So fast, I couldn't believe it, within like an hour I could not believe how bad I was hurting. They kept saying, "Oh honey, its just going to get worse...you probably aren't even at a 4 yet". My monitor that watches the contractions kept getting messed up, and was measuring my contractions smaller than they actually were. My mom thought I was being such a wimp. But I just kept saying no it hurts, I want my epidural.

They finally sent the anesthesiologist in at about 7:00. I wanted him much quicker, but he was in a surgery I guess..and they kept saying I had to wait. He finally came and let me tell you. I was a different girl from that point on, I sat up in my bed was laughing, watching TV. Much happier. They came and checked me again (remember the last time I was only at a 2 and that was just 4 hours ago...plus they all told me my contractions hadn't been strong enough yet to get me to dialate more). Well guess what, everyone was wrong. I was at an 8 1/2. Ha, I went all the way from a 2 to an 8 on my own without an epidural, and everyone just thought I was being wimpy. I took such satisfaction in this. The nurses said, we had better call her doctor. His little head is right there and she is ready to push. They told me they could see all his dark hair.

I was so excited at this point, watching them wheel in their little table with all the tools. I was in zero pain, so I was thinking sure I can do this. My doctor came, I pushed 4 times. And there you go, I was a mom!!

What a moment..I would give anything to go relive that little piece of history. Those first thoughts as I saw my little one, he had so much dark hair. I couldn't believe it. 6 pounds 7 ounces and 19 inches long. Born June 21, 2005 at 8:33 pm. How that moment has changed my life. Right then and there we were a family, my husband who I love so much and our new little boy. Does life get any sweeter than that. What a 3 years it has been!! I have loved every minute that I have spent raising my Carson, I know I still have a lifetime ahead of me. Not a day goes by, that I don't thank my father in heaven, for my greatest blessing. He brings more joy in to my life, than I ever knew was possible. He is everything I ever dreamed of and a thousand times more, an answer to my prayers. How I love him..so my little boy as you turn 3 years old. Happy, happy birthday!! Thank-you for blessing my life in more ways than I even realize. Heres to you my beautiful, brown-eyed babe on the best 3 years of my life.