Bad Day

This little one has had a rough couple of days. I debated about posting this little incident or not. It causes me alot of pain and guilt and is much easier to just push out of my mind and pretend like it didn't happen. However, it did happen. This blog is our life story and unfortunately this is life. The good, the bad, and the lessons learned along the way. So here goes...be easy on me though, I feel bad enough.



These pictures were taken Thursday afternoon at about 5:00. Those bandages on his arm and the marking on his face are burns. Iron burns to be more exact.

It was about 2:45. Carson was in school and me and the babies were in the downstairs family room. I was working on Thiago's ironing, it had been a few weeks and there was quite the pile. Our laundry room is right off the family room so I just pulled out the ironing board so I could watch TV and iron at the same time. Right off the laundry room is a little play room for the kids. It is actually the space under the stairs that was finished into a playroom. Drake was asleep in his swing and Lincoln was in the little play room. I had been at it for about an hour and Lincoln had been in that little room almost the whole time. I had a gallon of distilled water sitting next to me that had just ran out. My food storage is on the other side of the laundry room, not 3 feet away from where I was at. I keep more distilled water there. I turned into that room to grab more water, I didn't even stop to glance at Lincoln, just wasn't thinking about it. As I turn around with the water I hear a crash, a scream, silence and another scream. My eyes took in what had happened in absolute shock. Lincoln was screaming bloody murder. At first I just saw the burns on his arm than I realized it had grazed his lower chin as well.

I panicked obviously. He is crying, the baby is crying, Thiago's phone is going straight to voicemail, on the ironing board I had my coke from Maverick that came crashing to the ground as well, coke everywhere. I am supposed to leaving right that second to pick up Carson from school. I throw some towels down on the coke (scrubbed it out later that night), cleanse the burns and throw cold cloths against them, pile us all in the car and we are off. Drop off Drake at my sisters, pick up Carson, call Wee Care Pediatrics while driving on the freeway and we were there within 15 minutes of the incident.

2nd degree burns, not much you can do except for keep clean, keep neosporin on, bandage and wait to heal. For his face all I can do is neosporin and keep him out of the sun so it doesn't scar weird.





Next day, after we had cleaned it and right before bandaging.

I am beating myself up pretty good over this one. On the way to the doctor I almost had to pull over and throw up. I was physically sick. I know accidents happen, however I also know my child. He can get into trouble faster than I can blink. I should not have been so negligent, I never should have left that room.

I keep telling myself accidents happen to all of us, I was 3 feet away, it's Lincoln for crying out loud, he is a magnet for trouble. I tell myself this to try and push some of that guilt away, to rationalize I guess. But my heart knows...it was my fault. And that my friends is a hard thing to swallow.

I keep thinking what if it had landed right on his face, or his eye. When I am busy I usually keep Drake right at my feet with some toys. What if he hadn't been in his swing and he had been sitting next to me as well. What if it had came down on him. Lincoln obviously knew that something was hurting so he jumped back, Drake would not have been able to. I know, I know, what a thought to have but I can't help it. I just keep thinking "what if".


Lincoln boy giving his own owies a kiss.




And daddy bandaging him up.

He has been such a trooper. He is such a tough kid, I guess you kinda have to be when you are as busy as he is. He keeps saying "I will never, ever, ever touch the iron again...it burned me"

Dang right little buddy.


Still smiling.

Oh heavens, its been a long couple of days and I am emotionally tired. Drake has a bit of a stomach bug and has been throwing up and has diarhea, Thiago is starting to feel sick and to make matters worse, Lincoln had yet another incident today. We were picking up Cars from school and Lincoln was ahead of me on the sidewalk, he wasn't paying attention and turned to say something to me and tripped over his own foot, he face planted it right over the curb. Bloody nose and all. Here we are in the school parking lot with about a million other cars, and blood is going everywhere. I had about 8 moms jump out of their cars with tissues, bottled water and wipes. Took 5 minutes before I got him under control and by that time we were the last mom to pick up their Kindergartner. Cars was standing there all hesitant like and jumped a mile as soon as he saw me. So yeah, I am kinda exhausted from all of this craziness.

Everytime I look at my boy, that pit in my stomach comes back. I feel sick. Just sick. Everyday his wounds look a little bit better and slowly I think I forgive myself just a little bit more. Hopefully the guilt will clear up with his burns.

I tell you this kid is going to be my trial. I love him an insane amount however he is also the one that worries me the most. He has some absolutely amazing personality traits. He is tough, he is strong willed, he is go getter, he is confident and proud, he will go places. However, there is also some traits mixed in there that worry me. He is stubborn, hot headed, way to curious, everything has to be learned the hard way. Everything is a fight, everything is a battle. I worry for him, the future scares me with him. I hope and pray I have what it takes to raise him, that I can reach him and teach him the things he needs to know.

Parenting is something else. It amazes me to see the difference in my boys. They all fill my heart in such a way that only they can. I am equally devoted and in awe of each of them. I find I parent them all very differently, what works for one doesn't always work for another. They all have strengths that make me proud and weaknesses that keep me awake at night worrying. I know that they know how much I love them, I hope they will forgive me for the mistakes I make and remember that I am learning right along with them. I always, always have them in the center of my mind and my heart, and yes, I messed up this time. But I learned, and it won't happen again. Mistakes do happen, and unfortunately sometimes they leave scars to prove it.