Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam...

I can't believe my little boy is a sunbeam. He really is no longer a baby in anyway, he is such a big boy now. It was a bittersweet moment for me today, to send my little guy into primary. He has kinda been heaving a rough time in nursery lately, since our ward split. He finally got the hang of it though and was doing fine this last week. Well today he made another change...no longer with all the babies in nursery, he made his way in with the big kids in primary. I was so proud of him. We have been talking about it all week, trying to get him excited about it. I thought it worked, but when we got in the primary room with all those screaming kids...well he got very nervous. Poor little guy, he was trying so very hard to be brave but you could tell how scared he was. I walked him up to the front where the sunbeams sit, and showed him his teacher and all that. I then walked to the side of the room by the door, I told him I wouldn't leave until I made sure he was going to be okay. He sat so very brave in his little chair, he had his little finger up by his mouth which is what he does when he is nervous. He kept looking over to make sure I was there, I would smile and tell him it was okay. I sat and watched him look around, trying so hard to not cry. But then that little bottom lip started to quiver, he caught himself though and just looked at me again. He sat just like that for about 15 minutes. I finally caught his eye again and waved goodbye, he waved back but as I was leaving the room I could hear him starting to cry. Break my heart. I knew I just needed to go though, his teacher was great and was right next to him in seconds. I stood outside the door for a second, until I couldn't hear him anymore and then I peaked through the window. He was fine, sitting on his teachers lap watching the kids sing. Oh goodness, I cry typing it. How hard it is sending him out in this world. I know it is silly, its just sunbeams for heaven sakes, but oh the look on his face. I wish I could keep him little forever sometimes, right here safe in my arms. This age is so hard because they want the independence and are starting to break away from always needing our constant care, but it is so hard to let him go. He is my baby and I want to keep him within my protective grasp, but I know that I can't do that. He needs to experience life and everything they goes along with it. Which includes becoming a sunbeam. He made it all through class, and came out all smiles telling me about what they did and proudly showing me his little "I am a child of God" picture. Love this little boy, cannot imagine my life without him in it.